Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Criminal Clock on the loose!

Suspect: average male, short, square, with blue-tinted plastic body

Profile: demented serial dream-killing Alarm Clock

Transport: he rides a polka-dotted pendulum that swings back and forth between 'The Land of Perpetual Beeping' and 'The Land of Anal Second Hand Movement'

Description: schizophrenic alarm clock. A cheap, non-descript criminal who distinguishes himself only by the glow-in-the-dark stickers tattooed on his hour and second hands. Armed with serious agression.

Please, if you see this clock or hear his piercing, soprano beeping scream, serially dream-killing through your neighborhood, don't panic. Just notify your local authorities immediately!

Enforcement teams are assembled around the globe, ready to detain this monster!

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