Monday, May 01, 2006

Snail-Mail letter

To whom it may concern,

I am writing in regards to the recent shocking and disconcerting decline in acceptable processing of corporal, -c-collected data. It has come to my attention that a few of the devilish little vagabonds in charge of receiving, processing and transmitting information that enters -c´s body have been renigging on their responsibilities, and have been under-performing in their most basic duties.

Over the past week alone, a stunning amount of information has been in-putted for translation, and yet nothing has been properly processed or decoded.

This is, quite simply, an outrage, and I am writing now to demand long-neglected results.

Please dijest, internally and emotionally analyze, and enzymatically break down the following data without delay,
or all contracts will be voided upon the hour:

1 homicidal bus driver, plunging into Chiapan curves as gunshots cough from a skipping dvd of a Chinese revenge film
2 instances of giggles over crude, breaching-on-impeity-and-heresy sketches of Sor Juana masterbating with a vibrator and toe-sucking monks sporting halos
3 quizical gringo "What?s" when bodilly symptoms pharmeceutically perscribed either Gatorade or Dramomine
4 double takes when the used, sun-scorched condom on the hotel windowsill was discovered (... a true cultural and historic icon with profound anthropological stories to tell...)
5 camouflaged gasps of fear when we descended an 80 degree-angled, dodgy latter into a subterranean, fresh-water sink hole
6 Bloody Mary´s said for having entertained band-name inspirations when gazing upon portraits of the crusifiction in the central cathedral
7 "Oh man!" moans of simultaneous relief and disgust at having liquidly evacuated many a meal
and
8 physiological coctails of response when we were stared at by that severed bull´s head; his eyeballs alligned perfectly with all those gooey internal organ adornments

Yes, I write this letter now, requesting that you offer your utmost attention to the deciphering and processing of these bits of input. As a staunch supporter of the categorization of the chaos that often slithers into Our -C, I ask that you now help us to regain a few slivers of order to the otherwise unsightly mess of sloppy excitement, wonder, and naive awe that have recently blanketted formerly relied-upon cynicism and jadedness.

I thank you for your time and patience, and look forward to working wih you in the future,

Sincerely,

-C´s Reaper and Keeper

**Edit/Addition: Check out Mr. E´s take on our idyllic busride into Chiapas here.

10 comments:

dingobear said...

Hmmm, I'm stumped. But fear not - I'm calling for back-up.

Cap'n Rich said...

-c, baby your mojo is still working just fine if that is your question. :)


Great post as usual.

Dunzo said...

Dear -C's Reaper and Keeper,

You hiring?

-c said...

dingobear- thanks for the effort! Back-up is certainly in order though

cap´n rich- My mojo thanks your mojo :)

dunzo- could certainly use a few folks to do some tidying up and maybe some window cleaning:)

Dunzo said...

Well -C, I'm only one folk and I don't really want to help you tidy up or wash windows...Can't I just get paid to exist???

Rabin said...

i'm just gonna nod like i understood :)

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Cap'n Rich said...

-c baby! Thanks to you I got my college degree in only 2 weeks! When I think of all that time I wasted at MIT I... shutter .....


Now I can affort to ship you a platapus to row home with.

Dunzo said...

Send me one too! I'll take good care of it!!!

-c said...

Ahh... if only more of us had people to send us platypuses in times of need...

thanks cap'n rich!

And, dunzo, I'll send you a piece to use upstream! ... I know how rough the waters can get...!