Saturday, February 03, 2007

Basketball Bulge

“First, I’m gonna take you to see one of the biggest and most famous dicks in the city.”

Now…, if a tour guide or field trip leader told me that, I would be filled with questions, disgust, excitement and a bit of nervousness.

... And, that wouldn't be all that an abnormal a response, would it?…

But, apparently it would…

This was one of the opening sentences of my field trip presentation last night. We were going to see the Sonics play the Bulls at the Key Arena, after visiting one of the most well-known Dick's of the city.

And, my guided audience of international students responded to my statement that we would see the biggest dick in Seattle simply by smiling, nodding enthusiastically and giving a few ‘thumbs up’ signs.

I suppose they were used to being shown large penises on field trips… Perhaps in their countries, observing over-sized male members was a natural catalyst for enjoying basketball games, or… maybe, phallic photo ops were the norm these days for the new generation of English language learners….

Whatever the case…, I was quite disappointed by the lack of student disappointment when I brought them to Dick’s Hamburger Shop for dinner, rather than taking them to view one of the most enormous penises in the state.

It’s quite lonely to share a juvenile joke with yourself.

(…But, I suppose it’s better than explaining the joke to 13 eager, male-cucumber-nuance-ready learners...)

6 comments:

dingobear said...

-c, that's hilarious! One day, we're going to have to sit down and write a sitcom that's based on your life and travels.

Cap'n Rich said...

Wheee, -c, funnneee!

We can easily see c by the sea scaring the bejesus out of her poor puzzled students who have not yet acquired the complete mastery of your verbal tutorship.

Me, -c ? At first I thought you were bring your students by to see me.

Why ?

Because my daddy, being somewhat of a humorist, gave me the birth name of, get this, Dick Miles Long. Mama didn't think that it was all that funny and later after yheir divorce had it changed to Richard Bruce Long at the insistance of the FCC which threaten to prosecute me for false advertising.

Are you moaning yet ? :)

kingfelix said...

it would've been great if you'd run into a flasher with a huge dong.

"see, i told you people! what about that? now who wants a burger?"

Frustrated Writer said...

lol, I think going on field trips with you would be most entertaining, especially with the jokes.

-c said...

dingobear- I'm already talking to the national channels. If you could just schmooze those producers in Canadia, we can get typing.

cap'n- that's hilarious! I would have let your father name my first child any day.

kingfelix- Ha! Yeah, I kept waiting for that flasher. somehow, though, I think I would have just been laughing insanely to myself more heartily had we gotten the engorged dong streaker. Without him, I escape another few days of mental incarceration...

frustrated- you're always welcome to join the fieldtrips. I'll let you know when we go to see the second largest dick in Seattle:)

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