Friday, February 23, 2007

Bi-polar blogs, and the People that love them

I sometimes cry myself to sleep. I sometimes ball into the early hours; my tears soaking the hardware of my emotions as I contemplate the feelings of insurmountable neglect and abandonment that burden my every miserable day. I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and see nothing but a heinous, green façade with pre-destined template, devoid of love and meaning.

I know it’s terrible, but I’ve even thought of deleting myself before. You know, just wiping out my insignificant existence from the infinite web-like world, and hoping for redemption one day. After all, what am I but a bunch of ones and zeros that form silly words with etymological roots in the languages of prehistoric invertebrates and an occasionally-interested parent blogger?

Who am I? My given name is Up the Creek. Last name: Without a Platypus. And I am the lonely and neglected weblog of the heartless –c.

She has abandoned me for almost two weeks now. She has probably forgotten me.

She has left me feeling deserted when I most needed guidance. She has ignored me when I felt most alone. Oh, woe is me, and my connected offspring!


Sad Up the Creeek


Dear My Weblog (first name: Up the Creek, surname: Without a Platypus),

How are you? This is -C here. I have been thinking of you often, but haven’t had the chance to visit.

I’m sorry I have neglected you recently, but I was burdened by the visit of a houseguest and a long weekend trip to Vancouver. I had an amazing cross-border adventure despite the breakdown of our car. The visit was complete with friendly Canadians, reassuring mechanics and inquisitive Passport-Requirers.

I wish you had been there.

Despite my absence, my love for you is as emotionally muscled as ever,

Big heart,


***Pictures again shamelessly stolen from Mr. E


Cap'n Rich said...

Dear -c and Up the Creek,

You two freak me out. Did y'all ever consider visiting reality occasionally?

You, Up the Creek, quit that sniveling. Who, but you, has such a delightful deranged mind capable and the good fortune to have the one-of-akind -c for a mama?

Don't dispare.

I, too, suffer the pangs of abandoment when sfe, -c, doesn't post for two weeks.

Try drinking.

Cap'n Rich said...

Mr. E,

Like wow! I dig your dabs.

dingobear said...

Awwww, poor Up the Creeek ... -c, you should be ashamed! Buy your weblog some flowers, now!

Hope you had a nice visit with your guest and that you had fun in Canada, (eh)? Sometimes those northerners can be a bit thuggish. Good thing they're all hot and attractive.

Another très cool Mr. E cartoon!

Frustrated Writer said...

I fear I have suffered posting seperation anxiety too from your recent disappearance from the blogging world and I hope Up the Creek straightens your butt out soon cause your failure to blog is killing us (heavy sobbing).

I can't wait to hear about the trip!

L said...

I love your bipolar blog :) Mine has ADHD

-c said...

cap'n rich- Up the Creek says she/he'll stop sniveling when s/he feels like it, and -c says she'll try to post shortly.

In the mean time, the two of them will have a drink, per your suggestion:)

dingobear- I'm looking into ordering flowers now. Would a dignified Blog prefer roses or a personally-selected bunch of blooms?

frustrated- I'm back, and I LOVE your new template!

l- Various drugs are available to treat our poor blogs. Have you tried Le Ridillin with wee little RandomSpeak?

dingobear said...

Oh, I would probably go with tulips, for this blog.

-c said...

ha! Yes, per prior discussions, tulips would probably make a perfect offering. But, regarding this particular Blog, I think it/she/he would prefer bulbs. Perhaps some well-preserved tulip bulbs will do the job...

Dear Up the Creek,
roses are red,
violets are blue,
here are some bulbs,
I think they'll make a great stew.

love, -c

dingobear said...

-c, that's beautiful. :-)

Nico said...

You were in 'couver and I WASN'T THERE?? aack. I hope it was brilliant for you!