While you may think of them as just underground tubers that good soccer moms bring along in their esky, crunchy snacks that promote phrases like: “What's up. Doc?”, and orange, phallic abominations, there's a lot you don't know about these ubiquitous roots.
For example, in the early 19th century, carrots were loved so much that they were being grown two feet long with a one-foot girth… Now, I'd LOVE to see Bugs try and fit that one in his little, buck-tooth mouth! …Come to think about it, our Bunny Boy might just like it!...
17th Century herbalists also claimed that these marvelous treats could promote the flow of women's urine. And during the reign of James I, not only were carrot leaves used to decorate women who wouldn't ordinarily get a second glance until the 7th beer, but carrots were also being prescribed by doctors for snakebites and sexual maladies!
And in 900 ad, Afghani sun-worshippers were munching away in order to stuff their souls with righteousness.
All of these utterly useless but entirely intriguing facts come from this brilliant site about the history of the Glorious Carrot. Check it out for everything you never wanted to learn about the little root you sometimes chop up and dip in ranch sauce.
And now I'm gonna go swimming in a bath tub of venomous snakes so I can test out my new remedy...
(*Update: I'm not alleging that Bugs Bunny is a homosexual.
But it's OK if he is.)