Saturday, August 13, 2005

Vote Newton for Resurrection!

I've always really liked the saying:
"Where ever you go, there you are."

There's something very comforting about it. It makes me feel secure in my skin, and in my place on this big spinning planet.

Yup. It feels good to know that I came here to Japan, and - low-and-behold - I'm in Japan. And, as I sit here on the porch, I sit here on the porch. And, as I hold this pen, I hold this pen.
That's why I'm starting my new religion: Seventh Day Newtonian Physics Resurrectionism.
I desperately hope (and, therefore must blindly and faithfully believe) that Newton will be reborn to us and save us from the evils created by mankind's sinful quantum physicists. For, these monsters of Satan have polluted our reality and robbed us of our Security of Self.
My religion's core premise will be:
Don't trust anyone with a living dead cat in a box, a flashlight that spits out surfable waves AND partyable particles, a pet electron that simultaneously hangs out in multiple atomic shells, or who has an Uncertainty Principle on their bedside table.

We can't afford to fall victim to such heretics!
If we do, it might come to be that
I came to Japan, and find myself in Uzbekistan. And, as I sit here on the porch, I sit here on an antelope in heat. And as I hold this pen, I hold a four-foot tapeworm.
Rather disconcerting if you ask me...

"Where ever you go, there you might be... but, then again, maybe not."


Shimada said...

I've spent my afternoon reading your blog and it's been a lot of fun! I love the way you write, and am envious of your experiences in Japan.

Can't wait to read more. :)

Zahra said...

Yeah, I find that saying comforting too. Actually it's the title of a book (I don't know if you know that already?!)

L said...

wow. you live near me, don't you?


frustratedwriter said...

Your phrasing is such a joy to read!

bertissimo said...

brilliant and dastardly!!!
and it was bukaroo bonzai that said, 'where ever you go, there you are'
or was it T.S. Eliot that said, 'where ever you go, there you find yourself'?
but then he found himself as 'a pair of ragged claws scuttling the floors of silent seas'...eeeeaaakkk!
Hey Shimada, get your own experiences and stop being envious, you could turn green, you know.