Thursday, October 06, 2005

See Spot Speak

I guess we're all guilty of it sometimes...
guilty of being under-informed yet outstandingly curious;
guilty of asking asinine questions driven by parched knowledge...

For example, if someone informs me that they're a taxidermist specializing in rare Angolian, long-snouted amphibians, I might dumbly blunder an embarrassing question like: "So, tell me - I just have to know- can a lizard declare unbirthed eggs as dependents?"
... y'know... just to keep conversation rolling...

Or, if someone says they just returned from a language-study sojourn in southern France, I might retardedly hazard a dimwit joke like: "Vous lez vous coucher avec moi?",
thinking it's genuinly funny because it's the only French I know (well... that and "Il merde, sui'l vous plais"- but that's hardly a conversation-enhancer...)

But, anyway... the point is that I can fully understand and relate to wierd and off-track conversational responses to new information.

So, I always thoroughly enjoy the responses I get from people when I say I just got back from living in Japan.
Mostly, I get:
"Wow! Must be great eating sushi every day..."
"Is it true they have cell phones that can change your underwear for you?"
"Cool! What movies did they show on your flight?"

But, the most frequent response I get is:
"Oh really? Say something in Japanese! - I just want to hear how it sounds-"

When I get this one, I just never really know what to do... Usually, I get into position, bark "konnichiwa" and then roll over and play dead.
But, sometimes I get bored of this routine...
So, recently I've been trying out a new response:
First, I carefully compose myself, usher in a serious, Japanese head-tilt (complete with concerned eyebrows),
and then say:
"Du siehst wie ein Hund aus,"
and then bow deeply and ceremonially - (Japanese-style).

And, this one seems to be a universal crowd-pleaser. Not only does the audience enjoy hearing sounds of the Orient, but I get to giggle to myself, knowing that I just said "you look like a dog" in German to my conversational companion...

Hey, c'mon, you can't blame me for desiring a little personal entertainment!


ChrisWoznitza said...

Hi I´m Chris. Greatings from Germany Bottrop !!

frustratedwriter said...

I love your sense of humor... you would be fun to hang with, definitely.

The Ingrown Hare said...

In addition to saying that this post wasn't one of my favorites I'd like to say that doing the German Dog joke to a female is/would be funnier than doing it to a guy. I think Snoop Dogg captures the essence of 'dogginess' including resembling one. I know I call some of my friends dogs on a regular basis and would be delighted to be told I resemble a particular breed. Although, since a female dog is also known as a "bitch" well then madam you have trully stumbled onto some good humor. I will always stand behind somebody calling a woman a "bitch" whether the bitch knows that's what's happening or not...hahaha!!!

Dusty said...