Sunday, January 01, 2006

Drop a WC Bomb in 2006!

Wishing everyone a happy New Year!

Being as I'm in the vicinity of Downtown H-glamour, you might expect a bit of glitz and scandal...

Unfortunately, I have no tales of the rich and famous. Instead of hitting the strip, I went out to a friend's ranch where cowboy hats, boots and mud rang in the 12:01am.

The hugest bonfire I have ever seen was fed monstrous logs by forklift as we chatted, drank and danced about beside the bareback bull-riding arena,
and I drummed on a bucket to my beautiful brittle-fingered guitar strummers.
(granted..., my pals couldn't play their guitars, but they sure could fake it, and I played a mean pail, if I do say so myself!... Hey, even the kids and dogs were showing off their hip-thrusting moves!)

The oddest part of the the evening took place when I found myself actively promoting a "Poop Party" with two friends of mine.

"Yeah! I'm gonna go poop! How about you?"
"Oh, I just can't wait! Pooping is so much fun!"
"Yes! I love it too! Let's all fo poop together!"
"C'mon! Quick! Let's get pooping!"

I know it spoils some of my glamorous and mysteriously seductive appeal, but I have to admit that this wasn't actually as kinky as it sounds... The truth is, my friends and I really had no interest in shitting together. In fact, we all found it a rather fascinatingly disturbing idea...
But, we were restroom-bound with a friend's 13 year old, autistic daughter who hadn't squeezed out a log in over two weeks. This poor girl was deathly frightened of letting a little submarine out through the back hatch and into the sea! So, we did as any altruistic group of committed citizens would do... We planned a nice Poop Party!

Unfortunately, December 31st didn't prove to be the day for dropping digestive missiles...

But, I'm not worried.

I'm sure that the New Year will bring happy defecation to everyone!

Happy 2006!

6 comments:

ted said...

I'm planning to defecate to Cuba once I've saved enough pesos.

Nicole said...

Freudian theme to recent posts, with anal related fascinations...

Defecation in every nation, that's my dream, and I am living it large, let me tell ya.

Happy hols!

frustratedwriter said...

I love it when you talk dirty.

Some pretty serious crap discussed on this post. Happy New Year's to you!

dingobear said...

Haha! Holy shit, I don't even know what to say.

-c said...

ted- ha! I hope la migra doesn't pick you and your defecated ass up before you make it all the way!

nicole- That would be a great name for an album: "Defecation in every Nation"... Something like rage against the machine meets international sanitation NGOs.

frustrated- Oh, the talk gets dirtier the more comfortable I get... Ooh la la!


dingobear- in the face of shit speak, we all fall speechless sometimes :)

L said...

Happy New Year!