It's not breaking news.
Or glorified mandarine-orange press.
In fact, it's a universal truth that's been backed up by statisticians, philosophers, and scientists for centuries. Pythagoras proposed it first, Darwin discussed it in his 'Theories of Adaptive Sports Enthusiasts', and Freud eluded to it once when chatting with his mother over tea...
It's the non-arguable FACT that some people are just not cut out to be effective competitive sports fans.
And I'm here to admit that I'm one of those genetically pre-disposed souls who has never been able to convincingly cheerlead for an organized sports team. (I know, I know... I've pretended to passionately support the USC Trojans, I've clenched my fists while watching the Colts make that field goal, and I've even worn a Charlotte Hornets hat because I liked the color scheme...) But... I just have never had it in me to be the kind of die-hard groupie a professional sports team merchaniser hopes for...
But, somehow, this psychological, sports team-supporting ineptitude vanished last night. My friends took me to see my first live hockey game EVER, and it was truly awesome! (... I know it's hard to believe, but the experience honestly goes up there on the list beside partner-caressed orgasms, poetry-writing in the desert, and arriving in a foreign airport without a plan).
I was one of only four other people in our section NOT wearing a Kings jersey. I was the only one who looked like a reckless, rhythm-less retard when the announcer called for organized rally-clapping, and I was certainly stupidly verbose enough to repeatedly reveal my lack of knowledge about the players on the ice.
Despite all of this, though... I had a wickedly amazing time!
And, I attribute all of it to what Freud might have called the 'natural human tendency towards collective partying'. There's just something inherently heart-justifying about jumping up and screaming exuberantly at the exact same time as thousands of other people do the same.
Who knew that a geezer psychologist years ago could prophesize my imminent acceptance of organized sports...
I've officially seen the light and accepted sports-team fanaticism as my lord and savior.