Jack Nicholson's eyes were suavely angled towards the Laker's scoreboard four rows in front of me, and the team's sweat was potable. Filet mignon, fine wine, fun company and an excellent King's come-back tickled my dizzy excitement... How did I get so lucky??...
Rather than plead the fifth, I guess I'll just come clean...
I had to do a few favors, if you know what I mean... (namely, for a donkey and four acne-excited horses).
... Hey, I can't be the ONLY one willing to try new things for tickets to a few professional sports games...
No-- c'mon! Here's what really happened:
A good friend of mine took me to see my second-ever LIVE hockey game (LA vs. Chicago- The Kings came back in OT after a seven-game losing streak! Yeah!)
We were then treated to go out and eat at a high-class, $35 a plate restaurant where we tried to converse in multiple languages and play "How many eyebrows can you raise with inappropriate antics?"
We chatted about world destinations, snowflake types, unconventional parking lot motifs, and finally invented a spilt-wine coverup story that involved the accidental collision of innocent dining pedestrians, blinded by the luminescence of a fallen fork.
We were then generously bought tickets for the Lakers basketball game, and ended up sitting court-side and cheering...
And... well... I never thought I'd say this more than once... but I think I'm really getting a crush on watching live professional sports.
... but, please scar and leather me if I ever start tossing around names of famous athletes (or if I ever learn their significant others' hobbies and pass-times...)
Pucks are for fucks,
Dunks are for monks,
are for those in
tight, lycra shor--
(*p.s.- I made up the horses, but... well... let's just say that some donkeys can be more charming than you'd think... especially when they put on a tuxedo and dot their thick, firm neck with cologne...)