Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Illegitimate arachnid Brothers

I've got a theory. Tell me what you think.
Spiderman had a sex-crazed brother with a few quirky habits and an eye for interior home-decorating. He was cast out by his family in order to protect Spiderman's heroic image from the cruel and overly-imaginative press. But, since it was difficult to determine the sex of a fly by the color of its curtain colors, this arachnid brother decided to go for humans instead. So, this mysterious, ex-spider brother swung from building-top to building, devouring female-looking apartment adornments (which, sometimes, included the females themselves.)

Ok, so the theory is a little shaky and more than absurd.
But, there IS a man who has been indicted on charges of raping 70 women in Hokkaido by entering their high-rise apartments, based on the flowery-ness of their curtains. (see this article )
Now, though I know better than to trust admissions of guilt made here within the Japanese justice system, I'll definitely believe Spiderman should he decide to step forward and make a statement against his crazy, building-scaling and wall-repelling bro!

(Sidenote: I wonder what color curtains Bionic-Woman had...)

3 comments:

frustratedwriter said...

This actually makes perfect sense to me. So how does one catch a spider?

Rabin said...

I think this latest spiderman would have sat down and cried, held hands with a therapist and talked about his feelings over the issue of his brother. Tobey Macguire makes a great sobberman, the modern self aware spiderman.

Anyways, the moral of the story, flowery curtains invite evil spiders. This should go well with the rhyme "Little miss muffett", wonder if miz muffett was wearing a flowery skirt...

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