Remember as a kid when you used to run your hand through the flame of a candle and impress all your friends with your bravery and super-hero, burn-threat immunity? C'mon… we all did it! (How else would our ancestors ever have come up with the idea for those classic, block-buster hits: “Physics” and “When Larry met Allie to discuss Gravity and Flame-Temperature”?)
And remember how you used to throw a crying tantrum, complete with circular-breathing, and whimper harmonics just to get some attention…? And how sneaky you felt when you first flipped through a porn mag. and saw taboo, human-potential?
And remember how your first geography teacher knew everything about Everything, and lemonade was the Greatest thing Summer ever invented..?
And, remember how you used to pick up burning logs hotter than the west coast of the Sun's atmosphere, and hold them in your hands until you had blisters the size of Calcutta adorning your fingers…?
Well..., I guess that last one's just me. And it was way back in the halcyon days when I was just twenty-six years old and camping on the beach the day before yesterday…
I think I'll get a tattoo on the wrist of my beer drinking hand: BEWARE! Fermented yeast can severely hinder self-preservation instincts while fire-tending! Take necessary precautions! (like wearing astronaut cooking mittens or hand-cuffs!)
And, remember when you used to, incessantly ask “why?”… Why is grass that color? Why are those people so funny-looking? Why does my mom wear WMD-repellent, oven mittens 'round the campfire…?
Ahh, yes the honesty of youth…
But, REALLY, if I could be five again and ask Gaud a question, it would be: Why do monstrous finger blisters have to make it impossible to eat fish with chopsticks..?