Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Suck it to me

OK, I admit it. I can be slightly obnoxious sometimes. For example, when engaged in ordinary, every day conversation with someone, I occasionally like to throw in a few obscure and completely unrelated words or a perplexing non sequitur that follows the preceeding comment like a chicken's neck does an ax. For example:

Friendly person: It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
Me: Yes! And a coffee filter filled with tortoise tongues and absinth should never ride a bicycle, don't you agree?

I could probably get diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome (I certainly exhibit signs of abnormal brain function), but, the truth is I have complete control over this out-of-context uttering of random words and phrases. It's a deliberate tact I employ to get people creatively thinking and sculpting their responses. (Well, either that or to get them to drop out of the conversation abruptly and give me weird looks for the remainder of our time together.)

But, after last night's karaoke session with friends, I have to wonder about the health of some Japanese songwriters' serotonins and dopamines. I mean, really, what else besides Tourettes could explain someone writing a Japanese love song and arbitrarily tossing in meaning-confused English phrases? One of the songs sung last night was a poetic and melodic love song in Japanese that actually wasn't too bad on the ears. That is, until it bridged between verses with “Afro Rage!”, “Suck it to me” and “Woo ga shaka disco fever!”

But I am but a guest here in this land of the Rising Sun. What kind of a culturally insensitive prick am I to laugh at the Japanese tradition of spiking their songs with astoundingly ridiculous English phrases?

So, to redeem myself, I decided to do my part for Japan today by beginning to instill this cultural tradition of obscure English in the young and impressionable children. And I found the perfect opportunity for this act of altruism! I was teaching vegetable vocab today to a herd of energetic 11 year-olds by having them repeat after me and then rhythmically clap twice.

Broccoli! (clap clap)
Broccoli! (clap clap)
Eggplant! (clap clap)
Eggplant! (clap clap)
Woo ga shaka disco fever! (clap clap)
Woo ga shaka disco fever (clap clap)
Potato! (clap clap)
Potato! (clap clap)

So, don't come telling me I don't embrace and promote Japanese culture!

9 comments:

bertissimo said...

this is why you are alseep at nine pm tonight

frustratedwriter said...

great post (clap, clap)
Funny stuff (clap, clap)
Funky Japanese (clap, clap)
Woo ga shaka disco fever! (clap clap)
Woo ga shaka disco fever (clap clap)
Felt good! (clap, clap)
So much fun (clap, clap)
Office thinks I'm nuts (clap clap)
Woo ga shaka disco fever! (clap clap)
Woo ga shaka disco fever (clap clap)

Enjoy this piece tremendously! (clap clap)

dr Dave said...

Spouting non-sequiturs and unrelated meaningless bits of sentences in the middle of regular conversation? But, why, I do this all the time...

All right, perhaps it's not exactly calculated and mostly due to my level of master of the local idiom that is about on par with that of a 5-year old with Tourette's.

Still, results are the same.

- Would you like some natto with your rice
- Oh yes, please, and also your hovercraft is full of eels

Dragonfly said...

Popped over from AliceBabylon's site.(clap clap)
First time here. (clap clap)
Laughed my butt off (clap clap)
Consider yourself linked (clap clap)
With 3 e's (clap clap)

AliceBabylon said...

These meaningless English phrases are everywhere over here aren't they? I see the weirdest t-shirts.

-c said...

bertissimo- I was tired (clap clap)

frustratedwirter- cheers! (clap clap) and
your office knows you're crazy (clap clap)

dr dave- I'm more of a 3-yr-old with severe speech impediments. But, believe me, there are convincing political an economical reasons for the excessive stash of eels onboard the hovercraft.

dragonfly- welcome (with 3 3's)! (clap clap)

alicebabylon- yeah, my most recent favorite Japanese t-shirt spotting read: "Sun is shined on a dung hill"

AliceBabylon said...

HAH! I haven't seen any quite as poetic as that.

Rabin said...

Funny! Tis Great to read your post after a week!

L said...

omygawd. you crack me up. that is too funny :)