Saturday, August 06, 2005

Schlong Shrine

Have you ever been in a dimly-lit, dank room crammed with penis statues?
***

You know that "cooking rut" phenomenon...?
It's that inexplicable phenomenon that rears its slanted head every once in a while and grunts:
"Tarzan, you must cook and eat the same meal for a week!"
For me, it usually achieves its orgasmic zenith when I decide to buy a dozen eggs.
Once the purchase is made, it's all over..
I'm in for a marathon eight days of Spanish omelettes, sunny-side-up surprises, scrambled sarcasm and tabasco-spiked over-easiness...

I only mention this because it's somewhat reminiscent of the surreal, drugless trip phase that currently powders my hours.(I just can't excape fantastical experiences until I finish the whole dozen...)

My friends and I just went camping and hiking in parts of Gunma, Japan more invigorating and beautiful than the most memorable Himalayan sexual ascent.
And, on our way home, we stopped for what we thought would be a quick bite at an old-school Japanese noodle restaurant.
But then
my old friend, Magical Realism, took front stage...
Just behind the restaurant's bathroom was a

Penis Room!

I'm not kidding.

This room was a shrine filled with thousands of penis sculptures!

Most were wooden; carved sticks that smiled in all shapes and sizes. Some were ceramic and attached to characters birthed in Japanese folklore..Others were phallic stone-carvings worthy of adorning Zeus.
Or Goliath...

Anyway, traumatized and intrigued, we paid the sweet old grandfather for our soba noodles and left with a photocopy of Kama-Sutric positions and a container of nipple-shaped chocolates...

Man... Just when I thought Japan was getting boring...!

7 comments:

frustratedwriter said...

Several things hit me about this post...
1) I've never been in such a room...
2) You use Tabasco sauce, AWESOME!
3) You eat your eggs sunnyside up, again, awesome!

I always enjoy your posts, keep 'em coming!

Winston said...

What's with asians and their dick sculptures?!?! First thing I think is that they're a bunch of faggots. Then again perhaps its a fertility symbol. Perhaps the sperm has trouble getting to the ovaries with such small pee-pees; explaining their need for so many fertility symbols.

I drank at an upscale bar on the 5th floor that had a nice view of the busy streets in S. Korea once only to realize while guzzling my alcohol and peering down on the crowds that the lamps at each table were huge ceramic dicks with a light bulb and lamp shade on them. I tried asking the waiter what the fuck those were for. He just laughed his little faggot laugh and left.

Rabin said...

Hmm..Kinda lost whatever thoughts I had on the post after I read the previous comment.

-c said...

Hmm..yeah..
winston- your comments and anectodes are alway welcome. It's fun to hear your S. Korea stories. I'd appreciate it, though, if you could tone down the language a bit...We here iz peaceful peoples, afterall :)

frustratedwriter- you can never go wrong with Tabasco sauce! Almost every meal begs for a taste of it!

Winston said...

Hmm...Yeah...

I used to be a trucker ya'll. I live in the South. I'm a foul mouthed mofo; not a popular attribute in these parts. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" is a common question. YES I DO!!! I guess peacefull people don't use bad language...excluding...uh...Jim Morrison, Hunter S. Thompson, and Abby Hoffman. Why don't you prudes practice some vocabulary expansion...it's like Tabasco...TRY IT!!!

I'm not going to apologize but...uh...yeah...ok...Thanks for not earasing the comment...you got ballz!

frustratedwriter said...

I tried some foul mouth on my eggs once and it wasn't nearly as good as Tabasco was...

Winston said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.