Last Tuesday was Hallow's Eve, and I've been meaning to post about it for a few days now.
I've got great gaudy, raunchy and sensibility-wrenching raw tales of Japanese students in thimble-sized skirts and wanton, western-French maid get-ups...., detailed descriptions and candid shots of promiscuously-dressed, pecker peek-invoking Peter Pan iron-ons, shamelessly sexy scenes from innocent exchange students in tall stockings, stories of stretched napkin bosom sheaths and high-heeled ruby-studded leather boots...
But..., the time has passed…
The blogosphere has left Halloween behind in its laundry basket.
Used and ready for recycling.
No..., the truth is that I would feel slightly exploitive – if not REALLY WRONG- using my curvaceous, nubile, whore-adorning language learners as blog post attractions...
(... plus, I think it's illegal to post those kind of shots without ethical clearance.
...even if the featured models DO dress and act like the type who would giggle and apologize while saying no and gasping as you stuck an antler up their rear kettle spout....)
Honestly, though…, I have spent the better part of a week disguising explanations of the possible cultural/anatomical implications of dressing like a dirty skag beneath target grammar points.
For example, Wednesday, we studied Double Comparatives (i.e. “The more it rains, the wetter I get,” and “The earlier I wake up, the more time I have to masturbate,” etc.)
So, I tried a few “Complete-the-sentence” games with them:
Me: The more I speak English…,
Students: … the more confident I become.
Me: The more fast-food I eat…,
Students: … the more weight I gain.
Me: The shorter my skirt is,….
Students: …the cuter I look.
Me: The more leg, ass and pubic hairs a bystander can see…,
Students: … the cuter I look.
Now…, I don’t know if I’m just becoming old and over-protective, or if these alleged college graduates are just still that ridiculously naïve…
But, I DO know that the next student wearing a hoola-hoop of fabric ‘round her waist who complains about obnoxious male suitors at the bus stop will get a free double comparative lesson from me:
The sluttier you look, the more slut-seekers you’ll attract.
And the more slut-seekers you attract, the...